“You said, ‘a man is not a necessity a man is a luxury’ — like dessert, yea... a man is absolutely not a necessity — Did you mean that to sound mean and bitter? — oh, not at all... I adore dessert, I love men. I think men are the coolest. But, you don’t really need them to live. My mom said to me, ‘sweetheart one day you should settle down and meet a rich man.’ I said, ‘mom, I am a rich man.’” — Cher’s 1996 Interview for Dateline NBC’s Jane Pauley
let’s just cut right to the chase — AS A COLLECTIVE, we have begun to romanticize the idea of being financially free as opposed to romanticizing actual romance... you know that thing between two people with feelings for one another? Getting to the bag and focusing on ones career path tends to overshadow very normal interests like:
wanting a family
hanging out with friends
These days you can’t even wink at a muthaf*cka without them assuring you that they don’t have time to discuss anything short of a business plan and your tax bracket! Like, nigga. You cute. YOU IS CUTE. DASSIT. DAS ALL I WAS FINNA SAY.
Now, don’t get me wrong, seeing a young woman or man who is that careful of their time and energy and has a passion for reaching their career goals is very attractive. But, if that’s all your heart desires you’re missing out.
so, the question is why? why are we so closed off to the idea of having love, family AND a career?
My guess is that it’s a result of trial and error— lots of trials, lots of error. Say, for instance, a bad relationship (or a handful of unsuccessful attempts) may have served as a distraction at one point. You probably missed out on a ton of time to work on yourself, maybe a big opportunity... hell, maybe it was just bad. Either way it convinced you that LOVE and RELATIONS were the issue and not the PERSON who made loving them and having relations a shitty experience.
SO, what’s the easiest alternative? Ever heard someone say “your money will never wake up one day and decide to leave you”? Well, I guess thats why so many of us have turned to our love of money and success to protect us from our love of people. Assuming, that’s how we’ll avoid disappointment.
thats why you’re not looking to settle down with a woman right now, sweetie... not because of your budding soundcloud career 🙂
and the real reason you dont want a man isn’t because you don’t have the space for one... it’s fear — fear of rejection, a cheat, a liar and your time being wasted again.
and if you kept trying you’d have a friend or two — and not just friends in business. You don’t have to hide behind the bag
BUT WHO COULD BLAME US?
IT’S MONEY, NIGGA.
SUCCESS IS THE HEALTHIEST DISTRACTION.
understand that as people, our primary intent in this lifetime is to be someones, someone. We were created to bond, love, procreate, date, marry, feel. Those things were never meant to be looked at as disturbances to our everyday lives. It’s all about balancing it all, and not just your checkbook.