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Figuring out the rhythms of a black hearts song. There are five different love languages; five different ways in which we let a person know we love them: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service & Gifts. As a connoisseur of black love movies, I’ve decided to examine the relationship dynamics of my favorite cinematic, black love stories. If you recognize them, hello, my fellow romantic. If not, get to know them. Delving into a topic I’ve studied and adored for the longest is my pleasure. Happy Black Valentine’s Day.
I HATE YOU, JODY!
Meet Jody and Yvette...
A ghetto love story. Jody’s a mamas boy with a grown mans ego who desperately wants to live out his purpose as a father, boyfriend and son. Yvette is a sassy, independent, “homegirl” who’s trying to get her man to grow up and recognize just how good he’s got it.
Not to sound petty, but I’m assuming a good amount of my readers have dealt with or are currently dealing with a “Jody.” In the most extreme cases, it’s best to leave a guy like this completely the f*ck alone. However, for those wondering why the hell you stick around... I’ll make it a little easier for you to explain.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.
Jody & Yvette are so young and in love.
Y: I love you, Jody.
J: I love you too. I want you to have my baby.
Y: I want to have your baby.
This is such a “hood niggas” dialogue 😂. You never really know what the “have my baby” conversation intels. But in Jody and Yvette’s situation this has “I love you” written all over it.
You also never know what the conversation after some good sex means either, but it’s almost routine behavior with these two to fight & makeup
Y: Jody, when I say I hate you, what I really mean is that I love you. But you scare me. It's like we ain't gonna be together.
😌 how romantic.
What’s important here is the fact that despite what their anger exposed earlier, she reminds him that she loves him & begins EXPLAINING WHY SHE FEELS THE WAY SHE FEELS.
communication, ladies and gentlemen.
Even when Yvette felt like Jody didn’t love her anymore after they’d split for a while, he reassured her he did... he never stopped.
J: I miss you. I miss your ass so much.
I love you. You're my rib. You heard of Adam's rib? That's how God made Eve.
Despite this really childlike relationship, it’s important to remember these are two 20-something’s. They have love, they know love, they feel love... they just don’t know how to maneuver through it effectively. And for a short amount of time, that’s okay.
QUALITY TIME.
Being as though Jody ... lived with his mama... even though he had the option to... live with his woman... he and Yvette weren’t lucky enough to go to sleep and wake up to one another as often as they’d liked. But, the time they did spend with eachother was well spent in laughter & love.
Yvette actually did most of her bonding with Jody’s mama. They’d talk about men, love, kids, life, etc. It’s hard enough for a black woman and her mans mama to get along let alone be so close to one another. So, this is just as important as Jody and Yvette spending tome with one another.
GIFTS.
The moment Jody started gettin his sh*t together, he started gettin the people he loved together. He put his best friend on to his new hustle and gave Yvette a bunch of new clothes, gave a her car a new look, bought both of his kids new clothes... he was in the giving muthf*ckin spirit, okay.
ACTS OF SERVICE.
When things start to become routine, they get overlooked and aren’t paid enough attention.
Jody dropped Yvette off and picked her up from work everyday.
in her car but ... still.
PHYSICAL TOUCH.
Sex.
Cuddling.
Pretty basic relationship shit.
Brief summation:
you dont have to stay in struggle-love. it doesn’t make it more real, more genuine, more meaningful, nunnadat! however, some are fortunate enough to evoke change in one another that moves the relationship towards a much more positive space. we are each growing at our own pace, yet we are still no ones else’s responsibility — grow up.
Happy Black Valentine’s Day, Baby Boy
Love on yourself, baby girl.
Favor, Peace & Blessings,
Mimi.
You ain't stupid, Yvette. You're just in love with a man. When you in love with a man,|he can make you feel high. So high you just be in outerspace. But he can also make you feel low. Real low. And he can keep you there. Keep you down. If you let him. But don't even worry aboutfeeling|used. It's just temporary. We all get used. Men use women, women use men. Just accept that you'll be used. But if you feel so used that you got nothing left...if the man ain't giving you the energy you need to love him...even when he's acting like a bastard, you need to let go. If you ain't got nothing to give yourself or your baby...you won't have it to give to him.