Black Love Language: A Four Part Valentine’s Day Series— Part 1

Figuring out the rhythms of a black hearts song. There are five different love languages; five different ways in which we let a person know we love them: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service & Gifts. As a connoisseur of black love movies, I’ve decided to examine the relationship dynamics of my favorite cinematic, black love stories. If you recognize them, hello, my fellow romantic. If not, get to know them. Delving into a topic I’ve studied and adored for the longest is my pleasure. Happy Black Valentine’s Day.

So, when did you fall in love with Hip-Hop?

Meet Sidney & Dre:

Childhood friends that bonded over their mutual love for Hip-Hop. Grew up with the same love, conversed about the same love, made careers out of the same love. They belonged to it and it belonged to them. With Hip-Hop being an obvious metaphor for “Dre” and vice versa for “Sid”, it makes the love story that much more appetizing.

Tackling all five love languages in an hour and fourty-one minutes:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

saying the things we feel and notice out loud to one another ...

I love you.

You’re always there for me.

I applaud you for working so hard.

You’re worth my respect.

You are appreciated.

You're beautiful. You look good.

Et cetera.

Sid and Dre exchanged plenty of idioms similar to the aforementioned. They were friends before they were lovers. Anyone who can connect intimately with music can communicate within the languages of love.

What’d Sid refer to Dre as each time they spoke?

Baby.

When a woman or a man chooses their mate, they claim them physically and verbally.

What’d she say when Dre told her he quit his big record producer job to start his own label?

D: You think I'm crazy? S: I think you're the bomb. D: For real? S: I think you're the bomb. D: For real-real? S: Yes.

And my all time favorite line of the movie...

It’s New Years Eve, Sid is hosting a party at her home, Dre’s giving his toast of the night, looks at Sid, begins declaring his appreciation of her friendship and concludes his ballad with the smoothest, richest, metaphorical expression of his undeniable love by stating:

You are the perfect verse over a tight beat.

baby...

That in itself is enough to understand why this is one of my top 4 favorite black love stories of all time. Only a black man can make a statement that cold... that clever.

GIFTS.

Cards. Jewelry. Flowers. Vacations. Books. Clothes. Money. Tickets to a concert. A pet. Painting supplies if they’re into art. Fabric if they’re crafty. Journals if they write. Et cetera.

In addition to those lovely exchanges of words. The two also gifted one another out of love.

When Dre admitted he didn’t have the money to get started with his label, Sid wrote him a check on the spot! No hesitation. It wasn’t an obligation, it was just love. It wasn’t pressure, it was a natural reaction. Nothing was expected in return other than his success...

ACTS OF SERVICE.

Putting your words into action with sometimes simple, overlooked actions that show you care:

Taking out the garbage.

Cooking dinner.

Picking one another up from work.

Running an errand.

Coming by to talk.

Showing interest in something the other loves.

Et cetera.

These two serviced one another in Friendship and in Romance. Whenever Dre had an issue, he ended up at Sid’s doorstep. Every article that Sid published, Dre read word for word.

D: Bust this. "Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. " That's a dope line. And I know LL didn't think he was that deep. S: That was my first published article. D: I can't wait for your book to come out. And when you left, I went out, got the L.A. Times, every Wednesday, for your column. I'd go to the park and read it. I don't know, it just... made me feel closer to you.

Sid became a pivotal contributor to Dre’s success at his big time record producer job. All the things that people either take for granted or overlook usually demonstrate the best parts of ones love for someone else...

QUALITY TIME.

Simple. Be present. Physically, Emotionally & Spiritually.

Despite having grown up together, Dre and Sid were sure to spend their moments with each other fully. Whether it be a quick walk through the park, going to open mics... time that the two of them mutually enjoyed.

[Oh... for those that haven’t sunken into this cinematic love story before, I should’ve mentioned that Dre is married to another woman (who was cheating on him) and Sid is engaged to a professional basketball player. But, I digress.]

AND STILL... they always made time for one another.

(Hey, its me again. Just to set the record straight, I do not condone stepping out on your relationship. Do not let Dre, Sid nor Myself get yo a** whooped. But I digress.)

Lastly...

PHYSICAL TOUCH.

Hug me. Move the fly away hair out of my face. Sex. Kiss my forehead. Shoulder rubs. Sit close to me. Et cetera.

Do you know someone who gives the best hugs? Like... they hug you like they haven’t seen you in years even just after a few days?

Sidney would hug Dre so damn tight I felt it! A couple of those extremely close encounters led to something hot & steamy. They kissed like they were digging for gold in each other’s mouths... b*tch.

As inappropriate as it was with them both being in relationships with other people, it was undeniable attraction. So undeniable that they ended up having sex... 8 minutes worth... after years of wondering what it’d be like. And even so undeniable that the two actually ended up together at the end of the movie — harmoniously.

D: Sid...when did you fall in love...with hip-hop? S: Dre... I've been in love with you from the first day I saw you. D: All right, I got a... I got a follow-up question. Uh, why'd it take you so long to say that? S: 'Cause I was scared. And hardheaded. And stupid.

D: Real hardheaded.

Brief Summation:

as lovely as it’d be to have a relationship as equally yolked as this, it takes time. remove all expectations and focus more so on learning the language(s) of the ones you care for. everyone doesn’t love the same.

---

*sigh*

I love this damn movie, y’all!

Black love.

I love, love.

Happy Black Valentine’s Day.

Hope you get some Brown Sugar.

Yea, she’s brown sugar. A woman that’s fine, smart, classy but not a snob. Hella, hella sexy but not a hoe.

Favor, Peace & Blessings,

Mimi.